No Loud Kissing
by Trivette Lover Heather
Summary: Another wonderful night in Korea, gone disaster....sorta...


No Loud Kissing  
  
By: Trivette Lover Heather  
  
---  
  
"Dam nit, can we get some O Negative over here!" Trapper yelled once again. "Clamp." He tied the clamp onto the blood vessel and yelled for the blood once again!  
  
"Colonel Blake, can we get some decency in this place…it is an operating room." Frank said, lifting his head from his own patient.   
  
"Pipe down Burns." The CO shot back. "You losing him Macintyre?"   
  
"Not if I can help it…" Trapper replied, seemingly digging his right hand into the body.   
  
Colonel Blake nodded over to Pierce, and Hawkeye made his way over.   
  
"Margaret finish for me…" he took one step, took off his gloves and held his hands out for new ones…. "Whatya got Trap?"  
  
Trapper didn't answer his friend, so frantically asking for equipment and checking his BP.   
  
"Trap?!" Hawkeye asked again. Now looking over the patient on his own.   
  
"70 over 30." Ugly John said looking up.   
  
"No damnit…come on kid…." Trapper pleaded. "Where the hell is the blood?"  
  
"We're out sir!" A nurse yelled over the normal commotion of the operating room.   
  
"No pulse."   
  
"No don't tell me that…come on…" Trapper shook his head then started chest compressions. "Start ventilating him." He yelled over to Ugly John who did nothing. "Did you hear me? I said ventilate him, that's an order!"  
  
Hawkeye stood by silently till then. "Trap…he's gone man…"  
  
Trapper stopped his frantic compressions and looked over at his friend. "Another one?"  
  
Hawkeye nodded. "Another one."   
  
"Come on Captain! There are other patients waiting!" Frank hollered.   
  
"Frank…" Trapper started. But was interrupted by Hawkeye.   
  
"Frank why don't you do us all a favor and defect!"   
  
"Hmpph!" Came Franks reply.  
  
"Colonel did you hear that?" Major Houlihan interrupted.   
  
"Oh shut up" Colonel Blake replied simply.   
  
"Come on Trap…we got a long line outside…look he should've never been brought in here in the first place"  
  
Trapper nodded. "Next Patient."   
  
--  
  
The three men retreated to their tent simultaneously.   
  
"Pierce, why do you insist on pestering me in the operating room." Frank said as he walked in behind the two surgeons.  
  
"Pest and it shall be pested unto you Frank." Hawkeye replied, flopping down on his cot.   
  
"And you Macintyre, crying over a patient, while 20 other soldiers waited outside…inexcusable!" Frank grabbed his robe and shower bag.  
  
Trapper stood up from his sitting position and pointed at Frank.   
  
"Frank you better shut up or I'm gonna throw you throw this tent!"   
  
Hawkeye sat up and poured himself a martini, enjoying the rendition.   
  
"Oh you wouldn't, I'm a superior officer!" He started for the door.   
  
Trapper then made a grab for Frank, which caused Hawkeye to spill his drink.   
  
"Aw, Frank now you see what you did, you ruined a perfectly good glass of gin." He patted his t-shirt as they tussled.   
  
Before he knew it he was diving out of the way, as Trapper through Frank clear through the mesh in the tent. But to both their surprise, he didn't his the ground alone.   
  
"My word!" The yelp came loudly as the two bodies tumbled to the ground. One more forcibly then the other.   
  
Trapper and Hawkeye exchanged glances and walked through the ripped mesh, outside.   
  
Both of them helped the Father up, as Frank still laid face first on the ground.   
  
"What about me? Isn't anyone going to help me up?"   
  
A crowd had gathered, and no one moved an inch. That is until Hot Lips appeared.   
  
She helped Frank up and checked him for injuries. "Frank are you hurt?"   
  
"I'm fine Honey…I mean Major..." He said dusting himself off.   
  
"What in good golly is going on here?" Colonel Blake entered the scene, trusty Radar at his side.  
  
"Captain Macintyre through me through our tent!"  
  
"Looks like the principals office for you sonny boy." Hawkeye whispered to Trapper  
  
"Oh Frank, I'm sure there is a logical explanation for all this…" Henry replied, looking over at Trapper.   
  
"Well ya know Henry, the wind really picked up just out of nowhere…" Trapper began.  
  
Hawkeye continued. "And you know Franks been eating a lot less lately…he blew straight throw the tent, we didn't see it coming…"  
  
Trapper followed. "I told you to eat more Protein Frank."   
  
Franks face became perplexed.  
  
"Now you see Frank…it was just the wind…now will everyone please go back to their tents and get some sleep…I want quiet…and I mean quiet. That means no loud talking…fighting…or loud kissing…now break it up people…lets go…"   
  
"Colonel…" Frank began.  
  
"Dangit Frank, it's not my fault the wind picked up, now will you let it go…it's been a long day." Henry replied, starting to turn towards his tents direction.   
  
"Uh, Henry, what about our tent?" Trapper asked.  
  
"Radar" Henry yelled. "Get supply to get some more mesh for that tent, have Zale patch it up as soon as he can…"  
  
"I'll get supply to get some more mesh for their tent…and get Zale to patch it up as soon as he can." Radar finished before the Colonel did. Then the two were gone.   
  
"Gone like the wind." Hawkeye smirked.   
  
"You two will pay for this…this is the last time you've humiliated me in front of this camp…the last time!" Frank said storming away with Margaret.   
  
Trapper then turned to the man standing next to him, swaying a bit. "Oh I'm sorry Father, I forgot you were here…you okay?"  
  
"Yeah listen sorry about that little bump in the night…he didn't see ya coming by…" Hawkeye finished. "And I wasn't looking for oncoming traffic."  
  
"It's quite alright…" He replied, still swaying a bit. "I think." He finished falling to the ground, being caught mid dive by Trapper.   
  
"Uh oh, Trap, this doesn't look good." Hawkeye replied.   
  
"Another wonderful night in Korea turned disaster." Trapper shrugged. "Let's get him on a bed..."  
  
The two carried him quietly into post op.   
  
"Minor concussion, looks like his head hit the ground on the collision. He's got a little cut on the side." Hawkeye gave the diagnosis.   
  
"I'll stay with him till he wakes up…you go back to the Swamp, get some sleep." Trapper said taking a seat beside the Father.   
  
"Now we learned a lesson here didn't we? Its all fun and game until a priest walking by gets a concussion…"  
  
"Yeah yeah" Trapper waved him away.  
  
"And remember what Henry said…no loud kissing!" Hawkeye said smiling, walking out of post op, making his way to his relaxing but now a bit more draft tent…  
  
"The guy can't be serious for a second huh Father?...look I'm sorry I got you hurt…It was an accident…What am I doing talking to myself?!"  
  
Moments passed and the Priest had started to come to. "Ya know people say I talk to myself." He lifted his head, his left hand massaging over his new injury on his head. "How long was I out?"  
  
"Just about 10 minutes Father…You feel okay?"  
  
"I feel fine, just a little dizzy is all."   
  
"Well that'll go away, just need to relax…you want me to walk you to your tent?" Trapper offered.   
  
"Oh no son, I can make it." The priest stood up, then sat right back down. "Then again, if you would so kind."  
  
"Certainly Father." The two started across the compound. Trapper holding onto the Fathers left arm. "I really am sorry Father; it'll never happen again I promise…"  
  
"It's quiet alright son, just next time, look both ways." He patted Trapper on the shoulder, and entered his tent. Taking a quick seat onto his bed. Noticing after a few moments that Trapper hadn't left.   
  
"I'm fine Trapper, thanks for your concern…but you're free to go." The Father smiled.   
  
The Father has become quite an expert at reading people in his time in Korea…especially the doctors. Even if he did struggle with Hawkeye a bit. He still considered himself very good at reading people. "Is something else the matter?" The Priest asked concerned.  
  
"Well ya know Father now that you ask."  
  
The Father nodded, proud of himself. "What is it?"  
  
"Ya see, remember that kid I lost today in surgery…I was so mad, I took it out on Frank…nothing new really…but this time it was different."   
  
"How so?"  
  
"Well I mean, picking on Frank has always worked up till now…"  
  
"Up till now…so this time it didn't work?" The Father replied, doing his best to listen intently, regardless of his splitting headache.   
  
"Well kinda, I mean it felt good to throw him…don't get me wrong…it just bothers me that not even that will work…what's next…the booz?"   
  
The Father smirked slightly. "I wouldn't worry Trapper, sadly we will all get used to this place…and things we used to do to get our mind off it, wont work as good anymore. We just have to think of new things to get us through, perhaps this time, not something that involves pain to others or you."   
  
Trapper nodded. "That's deep Father"  
  
"Why thank you."  
  
"I mean you thought of saying all that, right after you woke up from a concussion, you really are man of God."   
  
"He does sustain me…which is probably more often then He'd like to." The Father replied solemnly.   
  
"I doubt that…he's gotta carry you…so you can carry us back to sanity Father." The surgeon smiled.   
  
The Father felt wistful for a moment. But only a moment as a dizzy spell ran over him.   
  
"You just lay down Father…I'll have a nurse check on you every few hours, so you don't black out on us again in your sleep…any requests?"  
  
The Father looked confused.   
  
Trapper smiled. "Never mind Father…good night."  
  
"Good Night Son, and remember the door is always open."  
  
Trapper nodded, and closed the tent door quietly behind him. He talked with the nurse on duty then headed to the Swamp.  
  
"Ah, a side door entrance…a great addition to any tent." He said to himself. Walking in through the hole. He slid onto his cot and under the covers.   
  
"First thing in the morning, I'm calling the land lord; something needs to be done about the heat in this place!" Hawkeye muttered, being slightly awakened by his roommate's entrance.   
  
Suddenly Zale appeared with a few tools and some Mesh.   
  
"Ah yes, the trusty repair man! Always Faithful and Courteous…willing to answer his calling…coming to the aid of his fellow man… come hell or high water…" Hawkeye started.  
  
"Ah shut up!" Zale replied loudly.  
  
Then within seconds you could hear Henry yell as loud as he could. "I said no loud kissing!"  
  
The comment leaving Trapper and Hawkeye falling into a bit of laughter.   
  
"Oh will you two delinquents keep your mouths shut!" Frank said sitting up.   
  
"What's the matter Frank, Hot Lips upset about the no loud kissing rule?" Hawkeye replied.   
  
"She most certainly is not!" Frank replied, falling back under the covers.   
  
Hawkeye finished his laughing spell. "How's the Father?"  
  
"Fine, he's in his tent, having Nurse Abel check on his every few hours." Trapper said adjusting his covers.  
  
"I'd like to have her check on me every few hours." Hawkeye smiled.   
  
"You and me both fella." Trapper said grinning.   
  
The two laid back and were silent for a few minutes.   
  
"Trap?"  
  
"Yeah Hawk?"  
  
"I'm sorry about that kid."  
  
"Yeah, me too."  
  
With that the two were the last to fall asleep in the whole camp…until a loud yell came from the middle of the camp.   
  
"MY WORD! THERE IS WOMAN IN MY TENT!"   
  
"An answer to prayer." Hawkeye said devilishly. Then fell right back to sleep.   
  
Henry Blake raced over to the Chaplains tent and opened the door…  
  
"Father I explicitly said…No Loud Kissing!"  
  
THE END!  
  
AN: Just a fun little story…I know Trap told the Father a nurse would be coming, but the guy just had a concussion, he's a little disoriented after getting waken up…Please let me know what you think…Tale care – TLH † 


End file.
